It's A Metaphor, Saumensch
by CookiesAreTheKey
Summary: A few little romantic scenes from movies involving Liesel and Rudy! Now taking requests, more information in chapter two :)
1. It's A Metaphor, Saumensch

**Why did I even write this?**

* * *

"What's your name?" grinned Rudy, looking over at Liesel as they stood outside of the church.

"Liesel," replied Liesel, trying to stop herself from smiling by distracting herself by fiddling with the little tubes that helped her to breathe properly.

"What's your full name?" asked Rudy.

"Liesel Meminger/Hubermann," answered Liesel, rubbing her arm.

"I'm gonna call you '_Saumensch_'," Rudy told her.

"Then I'll call you '_Saukerl_'," said Liesel.

"Okay," grinned Rudy.

"Okay," said Liesel.

"Okay," smirked Rudy.

Liesel smiled and turned away from him, fixing her eyes on a red car rolling into the parking lot. She could feel Rudy's blue eyes on her. She glanced back at him.

"Why are you staring at me, _Saukerl_?" demanded Liesel.

"Because you're beautiful, _Saumensch_," smiled Rudy.

Liesel blushed to her roots and she was about to say something when Rudy reached into his pocket, pulled out a packet of cigarettes and stuck one in his mouth.

"Really?" asked Liesel, scowling at the unlit cigarette dangling from the corner of Rudy's mouth.

"What?"

"You just ruined this whole thing!" snapped Liesel.

"This whole thing?" asked Rudy, tucking his packet of cigarettes back into his pocket.

"Yes, this whole thing! And you were doing really well, too," sighed Liesel. "I can't believe that even though you had freaking _cancer, _you're willing to give money to a corporation to help you acquire even more cancer! And let me just tell you that not being able to breathe sucks!"

"_Saumensch_, they don't kill you unless you light 'em," grinned Rudy. "And I've never lit one."

"Huh?"

"It's a metaphor, see?" said Rudy, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and showing Liesel. "You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you never give it the power to kill you. A metaphor."


	2. I'm Flying, Saukerl!

**So, I decided to change this from just a TFIOS drabble to like a movie romance thing. So, like, famous scenes from romantic movies, with Rudy and Liesel.**

**This is the 'I'm Flying, Jack!' scene.**

**I will take requests as long as I've seen the movie. 'Cause you know what I'm like.**

**And no smut. It makes me uncomfortable.**

* * *

"Hello, Rudy," smiled Liesel, her hands clasped in front of her as she watched Rudy jump slightly before spinning around to face her. "I changed my mind."

Rudy smiled and slowly began to walk towards her.

"Tommy said you might be up here-" began Liesel, but she was cut off when Rudy placed his finger over his lips and gently took her hand.

"Close your eyes," he said softly.

Liesel raised her eyebrows at him, but obliged.

"No peeking, _Saumensch_," smirked Rudy, taking her arm and guiding her towards the bow.

"I'm not, _Saukerl_!" cried Liesel in an indignant tone.

Rudy chuckled and placed his hand on her waist to help her climb up onto the railing.

Liesel's breathing hitched slightly as she climbed up.

She was nervous. She had nearly fallen off the ship a few days ago! But she knew, in the back of her mind, that Rudy would never let her fall. He had stopped her from going overboard before, after all.

Rudy climbed up behind her and placed his chin on her shoulder, making Liesel shudder slightly.

"Alright," he whispered into her ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Open your eyes."

Liesel's eyes snapped open and her heart skipped a beat.

She was only aware of two things:

One, was the positively perfect view from where she was standing.

The golden sky was casting a breathtaking glow over the shimmering water, making it sparkle like stars or diamonds, and said sky was streaked with not only gold, but oranges and lilacs and light reds.

And two, was Rudy's very close proximity.

She leaned back against him slightly, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

"I'm flying!" she breathed as Rudy took her hands. "_Saukerl_!"

Rudy's laugh was like a bell, barely audible over the breeze.

"Come Josephine, in my flying machine and it's up she goes, up she goes," he sang into her ear softly, making her giggle.

They stood like that for a few minutes, simply staring at the horizon and enjoying each other's company.

Slowly, Rudy brought Liesel's arms back into her body as she turned her head slightly, her coffee coloured eyes meeting his icy blue ones.

And without thinking about it, without worrying about her stupid fiancé, Franz, Liesel pressed her soft lips to Rudy's.

The two were blissfully unaware as they stood, their lips crushed together, at the bow of the Titanic, that within a few short hours, they would be torn apart forever by something as small as an iceberg.


	3. Telling Max

**This one's for Sunniva :)**

**Hope you like it!**

* * *

"Max?" whispered Liesel as she tip-toed down the rickety wooden steps that led into the basement. "Max?"

"Liesel?" came Max's groggy voice, followed by the rustling of dust sheets against the stone floor. "What are you doing? It's the middle of the night."

"I know!" hissed Liesel as she leaned over the side of the stairs, her heart thumping painfully against her chest. "But I really have to tell you something and it can't wait."

"Okay," replied Max, sitting up. "What is it?"

"So, uh, well, um-" stammered Liesel, pulling at a loose thread on her jumper. "So, you know Rudy?"

"Yes, I know Rudy," grinned Max.

"You know how I told you that a liked him a little bit?" asked Liesel, her cheeks flushing red.

"Mhm?" smirked Max.

"Well, uh, he, he asked me out today," said Liesel, unable to keep the smile off her face. "And, well, I said yes."

Max grinned and leaned back against the wall - he knew this would happen.

"Finally."

"And I kind of t-told him about you," stuttered Liesel. "But I didn't really have a choice! He guessed! And I couldn't lie to him!"

"Are you sure he won't tell anyone?" asked Max, suddenly serious.

"He would never tell anyone! I promise!" exclaimed Liesel, biting her lip.

"Alright."

"And he's kind of sat in the living room in his pyjamas," grinned Liesel. "I snuck in his window. I want him to meet you."

"Good," said Max. "I need to have a little chat with him."


	4. A Lovely Little Chat

**This one's for a guest reviewer! Hope you like it!**

* * *

"Hey," said Liesel, rushing over to Rudy and almost bumping into the table in the dark. "He took it well."

Rudy let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Then, he stood up and pulled Liesel into his arms, resting his chin on her head. Liesel sighed and buried her head into his chest.

"Oh, he also said he wants to have a chat with you," mumbled Liesel, pulling away from him slightly but keeping her arms around his waist.

"What?" asked Rudy, his eyes widening.

"Good luck, _Saukerl_," smirked Liesel before giving him a quick peck on the lips and pushing him towards the door that led into the basement.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph..." said Rudy as he slowly made his way down the steps.

"Hello, Rudy," grinned Max, who was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

Rudy was only a few inches shorter than Max, but the older man still intimidated Rudy slightly, what with him being his girlfriend's 'big brother' and all.

"Uh, hi," replied Rudy, all of his usual confidence vanishing.

"So," said Max. "I hear you're going out with Liesel."

"Y-yeah," said Rudy, rubbing his arm.

"Good. I've been waiting for this ever since she mentioned 'the boy with the lemon-coloured hair'!" cried Max happily.

"So, you _don't _mind me dating Liesel?" asked Rudy, a smile growing on his flushed face.

"Course not!" said Max. "But if you hurt her, I will not hesitate to beat you to within an inch of your life. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."


	5. Can I Ask You Something?

**This one's for Sunniva again! :) **

* * *

Liesel sat by the bank of the Amper River, trying to read the book she had stolen from the mayor's wife's library, but unable to concentrate on the words in front of her.

Her mind kept straying to her glorious next door neighbour who hadn't asked for a kiss in a while. Why hadn't he been asking? Did he not like her anymore? Did he have his eye on another girl?

The very thought of Rudy having a crush on a girl that wasn't her made Liesel's stomach knot and her eyes sting.

"Hey, _Saumensch_," said the _Saukerl _who had been plaguing her ththoughts for the past hour from behind her.

"_Saukerl_," replied Liesel coldly - she was slightly annoyed by the fact that he hadn't made an attempt to kiss her since he had saved her book from the river.

"Can I- can I ask you something?" asked Rudy.

"Sure," answered Liesel, marking her page in her book before looking over at him.

"How do you ask a girl out?" questioned Rudy.

He fancied another girl. Liesel's heart clenched.

"Oh, uh, well, uh, I don't know, I suppose you just straight out ask her," replied Liesel, her voice shaking.

"Oh," said Rudy. "Can I ask you another question?"

Liesel nodded, not trusting herself to speak in case she gave away the fact that she was on the verge of tears.

"Will you go out with me?"

Liesel's heart skipped a beat and her cheeks slowly began to flush red.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Oh, uh, I don't- I don't-"

"Lies, shut up. Yes or no?"

"Yes, _Saukerl_!"


	6. A Rather Enthusiastic Kiss

**This short, really bad chapter is for Sunniva! I hope you like it, Sunniva.**

**Yes, this is _horrifically _short, but I hope you can forgive me!**

* * *

Her hand was resting on his as she leaned her head against his shoulder. She was extremely comfortable and she wouldn't have moved from where she was for anything.

"Comfy, _Saumensch_?" chuckled Rudy, looking down at his new girlfriend.

"Yep," sighed Liesel, snuggling closer to him.

Rudy's laugh rang through the air like a bell. He draped his arm over her shoulder and pressed his lips to her golden curls.

"You have absolutely no idea how long I've waited for this, do you?" he asked.

"Course I do," smiled Liesel, looking up at him. "About four years, right?"

"Really?" asked Rudy, rolling his eyes playfully.

"Really," grinned Liesel.

She closed her eyes again and sighed contentedly. Rudy grinned, grabbed her chin and tilted her head up.

"What are you doing n-"

Liesel was cut off when Rudy gently pressed his lips to hers. Her eyes widened and her stomach flipped, but it wasn't long before she realised what was happening and responded so enthusiastically that she somehow managed to knock him onto his back.


	7. A Place To Put A Pencil

**So, this is a high school AU, but Liesel isn't really the new girl. This is 'cause I really couldn't think of anything to do with it.**

* * *

Liesel sighed as she leaned her elbow on her desk and rested her cheek against her palm. She absent-mindedly chewed on her pencil as she stared at Rudy Steiner, who was messing around with Tommy Müller on the row of desks in front of her. She really should have been paying attention to whatever the teacher was saying, but, if she was honest, Rudy was a _lot _more interesting.

"Hey, Lies?" asked Rudy, turning around.

Liesel's cheeks flushed slightly and her heart fluttered.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"You coming to Tommy's party tonight?" Rudy questioned, grinning at her.

"Oh, I don't think so," answered Liesel, biting her lip. "I have a lot of homework to do and-"

"Please?" asked Rudy, widening his eyes and making his lower lip tremble.

"I told you," chuckled Liesel, playfully glaring at him. "I have-"

"Steiner! Meminger!" yelled the teacher. "Would you two stop flirting and _pay attention_? This is going to be on your exam!"

"Sorry, sir," grinned Rudy, turning around. "I was asking Liesel for a pencil."

"And why don't you have your own?" demanded the teacher.

"I don't know, sir," answered Rudy.

The teacher huffed and turned around to continue writing on the board. Rudy turned around again.

"Because, apparently, it's stuck up his-"

"Rudy!"


	8. Tommy and the Couple

**There's a TFIOS reference in here :)**

**Whoever finds it can... uh, I dunno. Whoever finds it gets a shout out! Yeah...**

* * *

Rudy slung his arm around Liesel's shoulder as they and Tommy Müller walked down the street. Liesel wrapped her arm around Rudy's waist before tilting her head up and pecking him on the cheek. Tommy rolled his eyes.

"You guys are cute," said Tommy. "It makes me sick."

Liesel chuckled and stopped walking. Rudy stopped, too. He grinned down at Liesel, who nodded, a mischievous glint in her dangerous brown eyes.

"What are you-?"

Tommy was cut off when Liesel flung her arms around Rudy's neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Rudy wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground.

"Oh, good God, why would you-?!" yelled Tommy, covering his eyes and staggering backwards.

Rudy pulled away from from Liesel and set her down, laughing loudly. Liesel leaned her back against his chest and began giggling madly. Rudy placed his chin on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her as he did.

"You two," huffed Tommy.

"What?" grinned Rudy, poking Liesel in the side, making her swat at his hands and laugh. "Oh, we can do much better, believe me."

"Well, don't," said Tommy.

"Hey, babe?" said Liesel, leaning her head back on Rudy's shoulder. "I think Tommy's pissed at us."

"I can't imagine why."


	9. Romeo and Juliet

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Book Thief or Romeo and Juliet. Nor do I own the line in italics.**

**This is a sad one shot. It was my attempt at being 'deep'. Hope you like it.**

* * *

In a way, the scene before her reminded her of Romeo and Juliet, only she was Romeo and her _Saukerl _was Juliet. Liesel was sure Rudy would be pleased if he knew.

Anyway, back to Romeo and Juliet. Rudy was Juliet, Liesel was Romeo and the wrecked remains of Himmel Street were the Capulets' (Hubermanns', Müllers', Holtzapfels' and Steiners') tomb. Rudy -Juliet- was laying there with skin as white as a sheet, unmoving. Dead. He was dead, there was no denying it.

'_Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty._'

Liesel finally understood that line. Before, she had thought it shallow that Romeo had been focusing on his love's beauty when she was laying there in a supposedly eternal sleep. Now, she realised that it meant that Juliet was still Juliet even in death, and so was Rudy. His hair, though full of ash and soot, was still the colour of lemons. His lips were still the same lips that constantly asked for kisses. His eyes, though closed, were still blue. They were still that lovely, electric blue that could light up a dark basement.

And that brought her on to the next part of Romeo and Juliet - Romeo poisoning himself in order to join Juliet. This was something she would have copied if she could have - it wasn't like she had anything left to live for. But she didn't have any poison and she didn't think Rudy would ever forgive her if she killed herself for him. So there were two problems with that. But it was something that she would wonder about in the days, weeks, months, years to come. If Rudy had been the one to find her laying in the rubble, would he have considered raising a vial of poison to his lips? She had come to the conclusion that he would have.

In the few seconds after Romeo swallows the poison, Juliet wakes up. Would Rudy? Would Rudy's eyes flicker open, a glint of mischief in them as he informed her that he wasn't dead at all? Liesel hoped so, but she knew that the chances of that happening were a million to one. It just wasn't something that was going to happen.

Then, when Romeo dies from swallowing poison, Juliet stabs herself with Romeo's dagger. If she had somehow managed to acquire some poison and consumed it, only to find out that Rudy wasn't dead, she probably would have killed him herself. But that raised another question: if she had just swallowed poison and Rudy had woken up, would he have picked up a dagger and plunged it into his stomach for her? Like with the poison, Liesel thought so.

So, yes, she and Rudy were just like Romeo and Juliet, minus one vial of poison, a dagger and a wedding, plus a lot of name calling, book stealing and four years of loving each other without even knowing it.

"Wake up, _Saukerl_."


End file.
